well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
