I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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