Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
