Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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