She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize