I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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