why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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