I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize