I am in a vortex of obligation.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
