okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
