Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
