he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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