I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
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it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
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No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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