He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
