Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
