You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
