I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Green mimosas i think yes
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
