just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Everclear isn't food dammit
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
