its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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