If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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