this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just found puke in my bra..
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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