The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
