Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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