ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
