I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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