Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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