Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Did you pee in the oven last night??
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
