i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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