; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
