You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
