Having a random hookup so left but love u
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
