Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
