don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
