is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
