Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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