So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
