She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
