Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
