remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
