you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
