What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.