Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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