I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
