fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
