Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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