Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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