My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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