My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
