32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
how does that bad decision feel?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
