U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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