And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
