Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
