I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize