can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
