Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
