bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
