thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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