Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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