I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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