But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
