So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
