he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize