did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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