somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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