we made out on top of his cat.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
