I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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