dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
