Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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