i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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