2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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