I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
